Again I'm back, either for good or not. I feel like expressing something into words. There's a bunch, a gang, a horde, a group, a lot of things flowing into my head. There are times when i just sit down and my head is blanked after a great hang out or a hang over, after a party or a good movie, after a good talk/laugh with friends, after an enjoyment. That enjoyment only played temporary. After everyone has left, I'm just all alone. Feeling quite a bit of emptiness. Even after my friends and I message each other that they and I had a great time, it goes back to square sometimes. The pleasure dies off, the candles dies off, the feelings fades away. And I'm in my room, thinking, wondering, imagining, Day Dreaming and the lights turns off. Is it just me? Did I not filled my heart with fulfillment? Or is there a hole in my heart which the fulfillment is leaking out? Is my expectations were too high that made me think like this? Is the atmosphere around me killing the implementation in me? Am i thinking too much? Someone please slap me some directions, some senses, some Sagacity. Unsolved and Unfilled.
Imagine this scenario, Me driving in my car in ss15. I left my house an hour before a psychology class. Probably about a 5 minute drive away from Inti College or less. Its 1 o'clock in the afternoon, I went a round the area searching for a parking and stucked for about 30-45 minutes right in front of asia cafe just because of one BIG PINKY SlikGirl lorry.
Only one fat idian man was unloading the packages up and down from the lorry to the shoplot. A white proton wira was right behind the pink lorry waiting for the fat idian man finished unloading. Behind the proton wira was me. Every car behind me kept honking like crazy. One thing that kept me waiting patiently was the car right behind me, a black honda honking with some rhythm and i immatated it. I then honk with some weird rhythm, it followed. A bunch of pretty girls was in the black honda. I honked, she honked. We laughed together and kept doing it like 20 minutes! after the unloading was finished, i went about 4 rounds again, passed asia cafe and Sri KL. Sri KL was flooded with bunch of kia su drivers and parents, blocked the small area.
I was always most of the time lucky enough to find a good parking space for my car but today was just not my day. I then saw one small parking space not really a good enough one for me, but i was desperate. It was in front of myplace apartment, the one in between Inti and Taylors, right before asia cafe parking and the SoyaKing lorry and 2pm already! psycho class!! i tried squeezing in between a toyota camry and a perodua myvi. no spacee. Some stranger came and tried to estimate for me. i said cannot, but he said it's possible but nott easy. i tried and i scratched the myvi. The guard in the myplace apartment saw and stopped me and offered me to park inside the apartment. Now i know where to park when i'm deperate!
The Feeling of beingDefenceless, Useless, Helpless, Powerless. Like an abrupt blurriness occurring your mind that make a short moment sort of elusive. Well, it comes and goes away.
Don't think too much.
When Negative Stuff hits you,Meet it, Kill it, Erase it, Leave it and Live.
TENSION LA! / SCARED LA / WORRY LE! / CHILLED! / EXCITED MANN! / STRESS!!!! / WHATEVER~~/ I DON'T WANT TO GO COLLECT / HAHA I'M STUDYING ABROAD *NO WORRIES* / SUDAHMASUK COLLEGE, *NO WORRIES*
OMGOMGOMG.
Doasampainakmati.
*AKUTAKBOLEHTIDUR!*
= INSOMNIA.
PUKUL 1 PAGI.
i don't know what to feel from these situations/dramatizations.~
This Feeling, This Pressures. Parents are Looking forward to your results, your neighbors, FRIENDS, Mom's and Dad's side of family, Brothers, Sisters, the aunties, the uncles, the cousins, the nephews, the Strangers.
THE BUSYBODIES!
But what's done, is done. Let it be. Let the Results Prove the hard work of 11 years of studies from standard 1 up till form 5.
well,
Good Luck and All The Best To Every Result Takers.